


You Can Call Me Kylo

by reinasolo



Series: Prison Pen Pal Program [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anger, Appearances are deceiving, F/M, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo has a lot of layers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prison Pen Pal Program, Rating Will Change in Due Time, Suicidal Thoughts, The Plot is Real, that will make you cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-05 11:06:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14617101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinasolo/pseuds/reinasolo
Summary: Kylo's POV ofTo Whom It May Concern





	1. lskywalker

Kylo gets to have computer time in a would-be a classroom. Its small room filled with wide tables, metal fold-out chairs lined up against a corner of the room, a reversible whiteboard that comes with wheels, a clock on the wall, and a small desk with a chair and a dated computer.

And it's all his for twenty minutes.

There is a guard outside the door who will check on him every five minutes, but still, he gets the space, all alone. A space that is not lined with bars and free from other inmates. As long as he shows signs of checking his email, he can do whatever he wants during the twenty minutes. It's something that's familiar and he relishes it.

Today he is thinking of laying down on one of the tables to take a quick nap.

The computer looks like it's been around since the 2000's, but the internet is fast enough and the emails come and go regardless. It's not like he's getting a lot of emails anyway; only his mother, and once in a blue moon he gets something from his uncle.

He sat down in the desk chair and groaned in contentment as it conformed to his body. The chair is made of leather, it's the softest thing he has contact with all day.

When he signs into his email account the expected email from mother dearests waits, sent in the early hours of the morning. She's always up before the sun rises.

 **From** : lskywalker@ramail.com

 **To** : 53282@ccf.gov

 **Subject** : Good Morning

October 2nd, 2017 | 5:45 AM

> _Ben, I hope you're doing alright. I've put more money in your account. If there is anything else you need, please, let me know. I'll do what I can. You know I will. I'm here for you Ben._

> _I have an early breakfast meeting this morning. The person I'm meeting is a vegetarian, so of course I let them pick the restaurant. I can only imagine if your father were here right now, he'd beg me to let him go so he could taunt this person about meat._

> _I talked to Luke last night. He says hello._

> _You're in my thoughts Ben. Always._

> _I love you,  
>  _ _Mom._

It’s always the same, the gentle, motherly attempts to tell him that she supports him, that she'll always be there and do anything within in her power to make his situation better. Then she shares the bit about her day, trying to remind him of what normalcy feels like.

Half the time he is sure she's lying about Uncle Luke sending greetings, but if that's what will help her cope and make her feel better, he won't fight her on it. She is always so desperate to help him that it makes him want to constrict and cry. Kylo doesn’t understand how she can be so tenacious, how she can still support him after what he did to his father.

But he doesn’t have a choice. Kylo learned that a long time ago; he’d probably be rotting inside the prison without her.

The money she sends helps pay for necessities and Kylo is positive that he gets more than the other inmates. No one could ever let it be said that Leia Organa wasn’t generous. The number in his account always goes up, but he only uses just what he needs and not a cent more.

Kylo never says thank you and Leia never asks for anything more than to let her in. It embed into his routine now. He knows her messages by heart. He could use it for dinner conversation, that’s if he dared to bring down the already bad mood of the other inmates even more.

And he does. He's waiting for the right moment to strike. Entertainment has been bleak lately.

 **From** : 53282@ccf.gov

 **To** : lskywalker@ramail.com

 **Subject** : Good Morning

October 2nd | 10:00 AM

> _I need lotion. Since it started getting colder I’m getting dry skin again. The physician said something about getting Gold Bond brand. I can’t get that here._

> _I_ _know you do…_  
>  __Talk to you later._ _

Selfish bastard.

She’d give him anything and he can’t even show here that he cares. When he was first sentenced he thought his ambivalence would push her away; he should have known better.

He’s ready to say to hell with the rest of his time and leave, but a bolded number one appears in his inbox. It’s not from a name or an address he recognizes. The subject line indicates the pen pal program. He stares at it and it stares back, challenging him. He reluctantly clicks on the message.

 **From** : reyjax@cu.edu

 **To** : 53282@ccf.gov

 **Subject** : Pen pal Program

October 2nd, 2017 | 10:03 AM

> _To whom it may concern..._

> _As you'll see in the subject line, I'm contacting you because of the Pen pal Program. My name is Rey and I'm a student at Coruscant University. My sociology professor set my class up with the profiles. I was assigned to yours; technically it's an extra credit, because it has to be an option to say yes or no._

> _I'm not really sure where to take this from here, but my Professor said to be honest. Being honest would be by telling you a little bit about myself. I'm 21, going for a degree in Mechanical Engineering, and I change oil and tires part-time to pay my way. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I graduate, but if I want to upgrade to further repair, having official certification tends to make employers and customers feel better._

> _How about you, do you have any interests or hobbies? When I’m not working or at school I like to be outside. I try to start my morning with a jog and my college has a really nice sports field, I get in with casual play of volleyball and tennis. I guess I like the sports where I can really hit things._

> _I hope that this letter will put you in good spirits and that we will be able to continue communication._

> _Best wishes,  
>  _ _Rey._

_Fuck_.

Kylo stood up and pushed himself out of desk chair so fast that it fell backwards. Without thinking he made a fist and slammed it down on the desk, _hard_.

The guard from outside bursted through the door before the pain hit him.


	2. A Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the tag updates. Kylo has dark thoughts.

Kylo’s hand started swelling before he got to the infirmary. It doesn’t matter. He’s used to it; pain is welcomed like an old friend. The nurse chastised him. The guard who brought him from the computer room wasn’t bothered, mostly looking bored and probably wishing to be somewhere else.

The nurse wrapped his hand up, gave him an ice pack and some extra strength aspirin. When he was escorted out the nurse warned him not to break his other hand, he needs it. She smiled at him. He hates it. She means well, he knows she does, she’s one of the kinder ones who actually cares about their patients beyond a job, but his mind is somewhere else and the urge to snap at anyone who talks to him and tell them to fuck off is strong.

Leia would surely be appalled.

Han would’ve pat him on the back and encouraged it.

It’s an acquired taste.

It protects him.

Worse things have been said and done behind the prison walls.

Nothing matters. Especially some twenty-one year old college student looking to make better grades. He won’t be their project. No. He can’t have this. A college student should be smarter and know better. You don’t get into correspondence with a prisoner—a criminal. No one should ever want to. Thieves, rapists, murderers… Whoever this Rey is, they should be running in the opposite direction.

Whatever they expect will only lead to disappointment.

He remembers a piece of their email.

_How about you, do you have any interests or hobbies? When I’m not working or at school I like to be outside. I try to start my morning with a jog and my college has a really nice sports field, I get in with casual play of volleyball and tennis. I guess I like the sports where I can really hit things._

Does murder count as a sport?

 _I guess I like the sports where I can really hit things._ They have something in common.

He laughs to himself, dark and devoid of humor.

He’s a madman.

Maybe he should break his other hand to make it even.

He wishes the nurse would’ve given him enough aspirin to put him out of his misery.

* * *

He’s in a haze for the next two days. The welt on his hand turns angry, red, and throbbing. He does his mandated work, barely eats, and stays in his cell as long as possible. Nothing less and nothing more.

_You’re a monster._

_No one wants you._

_No one needs you._

_Murderer!_

* * *

At some point he is informed he received a package, from his mother. It was checked and deemed not to be a threat. Leia sent him the lotion he requested. It’s not Gold Bond. It comes in a medium tubular size. He’s never heard of the brand she sent but its name is opulent, the advertising and ingredients are natural and organic. Kylo is one-hundred percent certain that it was expensive and bought at some rich woman’s beauty store. It’s classic Leia Organa.

He uses the cream on his hand.

The relief he feels is like a hiss of water touching a dead fire.

He hides the bottle inside his pillowcase.

On the third day Kylo reluctantly goes back to the computer room. He’s tired and feels hesitant about going inside. There’s new guard in the hallway today and Kylo knows he’s being watched like a hawk. He sent the guard a frown before going inside.

The first email is from mom, of course. Sent the same day from when he last talked to her.

 

 **From** : lskywalker@ramail.com

 **To** : 53282@ccf.gov  
  
**Subject** : Lotion

October 2nd, 2017 | 7:38 PM

> _Ben,_

> _I overnighted you a small package of lotion. I would’ve got the brand you asked for, but I looked around and asked questions. What I picked up is highly recommended and a better brand. It’s not made just for dry skin and will meet all your needs. I wanted to get what’s best for you. I always want what’s best you._

> _Let me know if you need anything else._

> _I love you,  
>  _ _Mom._

 

 **From** : 53282@ccf.gov

 **To** : lskywalker@ramail.com

 **Subject** : Good Morning

October 2nd | 9:56 AM

> _I hurt my hand. Please don’t worry. I did it to myself, by accident. It was hurt and swollen for a few days. The nurse took care of it; I promise. I feel better now. I used the lotion and it helped. You might to buy more bottles of that in bulk._

 

That’ll do it right there. He knows his mom, she’ll go back to the store and buy every single bottle off the shelf or put in an order for more. When Kylo got back to Rey’s email he reread it over and over. In the end he decided to keep it simple and told them to go back to their professor to get out of the program. It’s not a request; it’s not even a demand. It’s all he can offer.

To his surprise he gets a quick response. Rey demands to know why they would do that. He sends back that he doesn’t owe them an explanation. Rey tries to finalize it by saying there isn’t a reason to get out of the program. It’s tense back and forth game.

She must not be as smart as he thought.

Alright little college student.

It’s on.

 

 **From** : 53282@ccf.gov

 **To** : reyjax@cu.edu

 **Subject** : Pen pal Program

October 5th, 2017 | 7:08 PM

> _If that's how you want to play it..._

> _Okay, Rey... Hmm, Rey... Did you know that in Spanish the name Rey means King? Are you a King, Rey? A King who is a student at University, going after a difficult degree would be smart enough to say no to the program. It's not a good idea for anyone to do this; you're wasting your time. You shouldn't want to be in contact with someone like me._

> _I don't want to be anyone's extra credit project._

 

There’s a heat in his veins. He’s reminded of what satisfaction feels like. Hopefully this will be enough to push Rey away.

 

 **From** : reyjax@cu.edu

 **To** : 53282@ccf.gov

 **Subject** : Pen pal Program

October 5th, 2017 | 7:11 PM

> _I am smart. I knew exactly what I was getting into when my professor made the announcement, she made sure everyone in the class was aware of the risks... and benefits... Besides, wouldn't a good King rise to the occasion? I am certainly not someone who backs down from a challenge._

> _You're not my extra credit project or any kind of project. I'm sorry that it came off like that. From a sociology standpoint, my professor thinks it's a good way to give back, to do some good. She said she's done it herself and offers it to her classes every year. Let's be real here, you're in prison. If it was an official assignment on record and someone said no because they were uncomfortable, it wouldn't be fair to make it a mark against them. Hence extra credit._

> _It's your right to end this and I can respect that, but it seems to me that maybe you would like someone to talk to. You never once said that you didn't want to, only implying that I'd be making a mistake._

> _I did my own research, and please, correct me if what I read was wrong, but inmates do get a say about getting into the program. So you had a choice in being involved? Care to elaborate on what the mistake really is?_

> _By the way, I'd rather be a Queen._

 

The heat expends. Kylo’s body fell back into the chair.

A Queen…

 _A Queen_.

A woman. Rey is a woman. A young college student. He never wanted to assume anything about her gender before. It shouldn’t be a shock. He knows it’s a part of system’s old fashioned ways, to pair opposites together. And here she is, fighting back, challenging him, asserting her power. It seems there are a lot of thing he shouldn’t have assumed.

Kylo doesn’t know if he likes that or wants to push her away more.

Kylo has to push her away. He’s not a good person. He could hurt her. There is nothing to be gained by talking to him.

But there’s a longing settled in chest.

He’s not aware he’s fighting it.


End file.
